Long time, no see

I didn't even realize that I haven't updated this blog since November, because time has whipped by and I've taken to avoiding the computer if I don't need it for work.  Many things have happened though:

- I'm now 18 weeks pregnant.  I only had just found out the last time I posted and I wasn't prepared to share until after I passed my first trimester.  Baby #4. 

- Husband got a nice raise, which caused me to relax slightly about baby #4.

- Husband has been working 7 days a week since November

- Had a nice Christmas

- Got a 1 in 60 result on my triple screen, which had me in a tizzy. Turns out my dates are wrong, so the hospital that my doctor sent me to for an amnio insisted I retake the test before I subject myself and baby to the chance of miscarriage.  Still waiting for those results.

- Husband's boss decides he's not going to pay him the raise anymore, so now he's working 7 days a week and making what he did before.

- Kids have had flus, colds, and strep throat since January 1st.  Little J has been to school twice since January 5th.   Now it appears he has croup and big N has a fever.  

I'm kind of ready to give up.  I can't make myself want to do anything around the house, because I had been very excited to move and now it appears that will not happen.  I really hate this house, with everything on one floor and no playroom for the kids.  

I know, I'm lucky to have a house. So many people don't have one, and I know that many are losing jobs as well.  I shouldn't care about his raise, because we have enough to live on.  I just get so angry though, because he's gone so much and the only thing that made it worth it was the extra money so I could get a babysitter or maybe put N into daycare two afternoons a week.  Now I am faced with being on my own for extended periods with 4 kids.  

You know, I have purposely isolated myself here.  I find it so stressful taking them out and about that I don't really seek out friends.  They argue with me about going anywhere, and if it's not fun for them, forget it.  Husband says they are spoiled, and I am sure they are.  I've come to hate even going for groceries or to Costco, so I just don't do it.  

Obviously being this down isn't good for the baby, but there isn't much I can do about it. I'm just waiting for the test results to tell me whether I have to go through with an amnio, and taking care of one kid with a fever and another with his 4th cold of the year.  Not a good start to 2009.